Ode to the Incandescent Bulb

So, let me start by saying that I have a favorite light bulb.  That's right.  I'm not ashamed to say that my loyalties lie with the bulb that Thomas Edison invented, and that the world considered good enough for a hundred years.  The incandescent bulb.  I even have a picture of one posted above my computer.

There's just something so right about this bulb.  It's  hard to take one out of its box since it is crammed in  a little cubby alonside another one,  but once you get it out, you notice the lightness of it.  On the clear ones, you can see the little filament gently shaking in the middle of the bulb.  And when you screw it in the socket and flip the light switch, viola! - let there be light, and plenty of it.

I don't like dim lighting.  I don't find it romantic or mood enhancing.  I find it dark and depressing.  I want light.  LIGHT!  When I flip a switch, ideally I want 150 watts of pure incandescent light.  Since that often blows the light sockets, I will accept 100 watts.

 But no....somewhere, not so long ago, but in a galaxy far away from my galaxy,  a bunch of tree-hugging, sandal with sock wearing, soft spoken sissies...er...I mean environmentalist, got together and decided what was best for all of us.  And they decided that a new bulb needed to be invented.  One that didn't produce the heat that the incandescent one does.  So the folks at General Electric, (I'm guessing here) teamed up with the sissies...er...environmentalist, and viola! - the CFL is invented.

Sigh....let me preface this by giving some information straight off of the box of CFL's in my possession.  Brightness in lumens  900 -  13 watt, equal to a 60 watt incandescent bulb. 
average life 10,000 hours.  Estimated energy cost 1.57 per year.

Uh-uh.  Alongside a *real* 60 watt bulb, this one sucks.  It's as dim as a bathroom in a truckstop frequented by prostitutes.  (Again, I'm just guessing here...)  If this was not bad enough, there are warnings on the box.  WARNINGS ON A LIGHT BULB BOX!!  Yes, I was yelling.

And I quote "CONTAINS MERCURY.  For information on clean up and safe disposal, visit epa.gov/cfl."

Next warning, "This product complies with Part 18 of FCC rules, but may cause interference with radios, televisions, wireless telephones, and remote controls.  If interference occurs, move product away from the device, and plug into a different outlet."

Next warning "CONTAINS MERCURY."

The poor, maligned incandescent bulb that gave us light for a hundred years is being phased out.  Gone already are the 100 watt, replaced by 90 watts.  Gone are the 90 watts, replaced by 67 watts.  Etc.  By 2015 (no I didn't check my facts on this, but I think it's 2015) there will be no regular size incandescent bulbs left.  Oh sure, they'll still make the little appliance ones, the chandelier ones, the ceiling fan ones.  10 watts, 40 watts, maybe even 60 watts.  But the day will come when the sissies...er..environmentalist decide we don't need those either.  Good think I have a closetful of *real* bulbs. 

I don't like somebody else telling me what is or isn't good for me.  That should be my decision.  And I don't care if my bulbs last 10,000 hours or ten hours.  I don't care if the bulb is heating up my room.  It's really my business what happens in my own home, isn't it?  So if I break one of these cfl's, is that mercury going to be a problem?  Does a haz-mat team need to come clear up the spill and hose us down?  This sounds absurd, but an elementary  school  in our town had this very problem with a student who brought an old fashioned thermometer to school and it broke.  The school  -seriously- went on lockdown, the haz-mat team came, all the students in the area of the broken thermometer had to be hosed down and isolated, and the rest of the students had to stay in their classrooms.  The whole ordeal lasted well into the evening.

If I knew where all these sissies...er...environmentalists lived, I'd kinda like to go break a few CFL's on their front porch and see what they do.